Up Yours ! The Waiting Room

So where was I ? Ah yes, wafting a perfectly delicious cup of coffee in front of my husband who has consumed nothing more than clear liquids for 2 days. We arrive at the hospital in good time, I drop him off,  wish him well, (see? I'm not totally heartless) and scamper off to get another coffee. Armed with that and a damn good book, I head to the waiting area, to wait.

Now, my nearest and dearest know that I am not one to suffer fools gladly. Nor am I one to strike up idle conversations with total strangers. Normally I can shut down any such attempts to converse with a faultlessly perfected malevolent glare. It would seem that that day at the hospital was not going to be my day. 

No sooner am I seated in the waiting area than a woman plonks herself down opposite. I risk a quick glimpse over the top of my page and unfortunately catch her eye. I immediately do my best to ignore her and immerse myself in my book. I recognised the signs & realise in horror that she is itching to talk to someone and I refuse to be her victim. Luckily for me - but not so much for him - she spies a young man hovering nearby and like a ground to air missile she locks on target. For the next half hour the poor man was subjected to all manner of questions. She grilled him loudly on his job, his home, his marital status and any number of other topics. He was either too polite to demur or too shell shocked to run.  Eventually his name was called and he beat a hasty retreat.

I wasn't taking any chances, I had my book glued so close to my face, I was cross-eyed.  No way was I going to give that dimwit a chance to latch on to me. I thought I was doing pretty well until I realised that she had left her seat and was looming over me. Still I pretended not to notice.  I can do that very well, I have practiced on my children.

"Did you know you can use ice cubes to water plants ?"  She asks. I looked up. Rookie mistake. Now she had me trapped. I muttered something unintelligible, and returned to my book. It was obvious from her opening volley that I had a problem on my hands. 

"Do you have any plants ?" she continues.  "No" I reply curtly, not looking at her this time. 
I am not above lying in situations like this. 

"I have lots of plants." she adds. Are you kidding me ?  Do I really look like I care ? This time I don't even bother with speech, I just glare at her and return pointedly to my book, but she is tenacious and continues with her diatribe. I finally put away my book and pull out my phone.  "Excuse me" as I talk over her, "But I must take this call" My phone hadn't actually rung, but she had no clue. I put the phone to my ear and for the next few minutes conducted a one sided conversation with dead air.  It wasn't easy, but I turned in an Oscar worthy performance, if I do say so myself. Finally she took the hint, and huffily returned to her seat. Fortunately my name was called soon after, but I had absolutely no idea what fresh hell awaited me.

To be continued....