I was watching a movie with Lindsay and Zach this past weekend called "The Purge", about a futuristic America where any crime including murder can be committed with impunity one night of the year. In the movie, one particular family, believing they were safe, was forced to fight for their lives. Ha ! One night, that's nothing. I face that threat anew, every time I go to bed. This is on account of the fact that I supposedly snore, so my dear husband has taken to new and creative ways to prevent this from happening.
His favourite practice is to pinch my nose closed and watch while the oxygen slowly disperses from my system, and like a fish out of water, I eventually gasp for air. The psycho has actually admitted to timing this process so he can report gleefully in the morning "You didn't breathe for at least 43 seconds last night, that is almost a record". Sadly I sleep through these assaults - or maybe by then I'm unconsciousness, it's not like he'd know the
difference - so I am unable to defend myself.
A less intrusive, but none the less effective method is for him to blow on my face. At this point, so he tells me, I flail my hands ineffectually around my head as if warding off a fly, before conceding defeat and rolling over. I thwarted this plot however, when in the stage of thrashing around one night, my fist connected sharply with his nose. He really should have seen that one coming.
I don't mind so much that my husband tries to annihilate me every night, I'm more concerned about the long term effects if I survive. My memory isn't what it used to be, and more and more I find myself having to write everything down, or when I struggle with the crossword, the answer to the clue just outside my mental grasp. At first I put these lapses down to natural aging, but it occurred to me yesterday as I was reading over Lindsay's biology essay, that the real cause of my mental deterioration is the nightly oxygen deprivation to my brain !!
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