#200

So this is it, my 200th post. I have to admit, when I first started this at the request of   family and friends, I never thought for one moment it would take off as it has, with almost 18,000 readers from over 38 countries. 

Other than the people with whom I'm acquainted, I don't really know who reads this. I see statistics on the audience by country, but that is all the information I have. Every time I sit down to write, I think of these nameless and faceless readers. I can't imagine what the good people of Russia, Japan or Brazil think of the escapades that happen in this blog. Are there families in Indonesia, Italy or Ireland that can relate to the ups and downs of a family in Canada ? 

The Lebanese, Germans, Nigerians, do they laugh ? Frown ? Judge me or my (sometimes non-existent) parenting skills ?  Do they think this is a work of fiction ? Believe me, it is not. I couldn't make half this stuff up if I tried.  Do I elicit sympathy sometimes ? I'd like to think so.  Do people feel better about their own problems when they about read my trials and tribulations ?  

A friend mentioned recently that the trait she likes most about me is that I can (almost) always find something funny in every situation. Even this week when my van was hit by a transport truck I could still laugh at the fact Grady tried to use it as an opportunity to eat at McDonald's. That's me, a regular a regular Suzy Sunshine. 

It hasn't always been that way. My mother died when I was sixteen, and my world fell apart. It fell apart again 19 years later when my husband and I had to bury our twin sons, who had graced our lives for only one day.  Even now, fourteen years on, I still maintain the hardest thing I ever had to do in my life was to shop for two little outfits for our sons to be buried in. We have certainly had more than our fair share of heartache and disappointment.

But I can't dwell on that. I have amazing friends and an incredible family. I owe it to them to keep moving forward. My life - good and bad - has shaped me into the person I am today, with scarce regrets. It hasn't always been easy, and that is why - cliched as it may sound - I can look at each new day as a gift.  I'm not perfect, and this is the first and last time I will admit it.  I still get royally pissed off, my temper is legendary, there will be days when I sulk  and I will make mistakes, but that's okay, because I know now that I can keep laughing. Maybe not at the time of whatever crisis befalls us, but later, when I blog about it, I hope you will laugh with me too.