The Irresistible Force Paradox

It's Thursday evening, and we are in the middle of a ten alarm melt-down, and it all started with spelling homework. Sidney has to write out sentences using words such as compassion, considerate and thoughtful, which is not without a touch of irony considering the circumstances. She is bound and determined she is not going to do it, whilst I am bound and determined she is. What was it that Einstein said about the The Irresistible Force Paradox,  "What happens when an unstoppable force meets an immovable object?" Well, I can tell you what happens, because it is a common occurrence in our house.  Sid has a fit and throws pencils, erasers and her spelling book across the room, whilst I with my steely eyed glare formulate a suitable punishment.  Although, according to any parenting advice I have read (my own not withstanding) you are supposed to provide consequences, not a punishment.  I don't really care what you call it, either way the screaming little banshee is not going to get away with it.  I decide she is going to write out lines as in "I must not throw my spelling book". This is met with a howl of rage, so I tack on another ten, "I must not throw my pencil", met with yet more wails. She is an awful slow learner, so I add on another ten, "I must not scream at my mother".  I could keep this up all night.

Lindsay intervenes at this point, as she can see where this is heading, and does her best to get Sid to co-operate.  To no avail. Sid just sits and wails, and issues a few threats of her own, as in  "I am going to sit here until I'm dead !"  At which point Grady chimes in with his advice "I wouldn't bother doing that Sid,  I tried it once and it didn't work very well"  I couldn't make this stuff up if I tried. By this time Lindsay is hissing at Sid to shut up, the dog is cowering under the table, and I'm sure the neighbours must be getting an earful.  I am determined I will not raise my voice, but the trouble is if I don't no-one can hear me above the din.  Sid is at last calming down, so not being one to miss an opportunity,  I point out to her that I expect her lines to be done in her best handwriting and with no spelling errors. That sets off another round of bawling. Why couldn't I just keep my bloody mouth shut? It's on days like this I understand why in some species the mothers eat their young.

Have a great weekend.