My eldest daughter is returning to school today after a legitimate absence of two sick days. My son was already PO'd that she got to stay home so it came as no surprise this morning when he started to display symptoms of his own. It is sometimes hard to tell if he is faking it because he is a consummate actor, and, of my three little drama queens, he is the one most destined for the stage. After all, he is the child who one day kept written track, of not only the quantity but also the velocity of his sneezes, in a vain attempt to convince his teacher he was sick enough to go home. His ingenuity knows no bounds.
So this morning Grady cruises the house, engaged in elaborate coughing fits, having first ensured that I was within earshot. When this is met with a very blunt "Go get a drink of water, and keep the noise down" he realised he was going to have to try harder than that. I am the product of the good old British "Stiff Upper Lip" upbringing, so I am not the most sympathetic of parents. Broken bones or spurting arterial blood warrant my attention, anything else, and it's a case of suck it up cupcake!.
Grady was forced to revert to Plan B and bring out the big guns. This involved laying supine on the couch, under a blanket, clutching his belly and emitting the occasional feeble groan for effect. Even Sid was taken in by this performance, dramatically feeling his forehead and offering her own diagnosis, "He does feel warm mum". Yeah, well so would you, if you were huddled under a thick blanket.
Don't judge me too harshly. After all this, you may wonder how I knew he was faking it ? That was easy, he made a crucial mistake when he started mimicking Lindsay's symptoms. After all his hard work and an Oscar worthy performance, I just didn't have the heart to tell him that menstrual cramps are not contagious.
And no he didn't get to stay home.
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