Finally, order is restored to the house and peace reigns again. Right, like that is going to happen in my lifetime. Rob has been at his new job a week now and loves it, but it has taken some adjustments on the home front and I thought after Monday's less than stellar start, we'd at least fallen into a semblance of a routine. Not so, as I found out on Friday.
The day starts earlier than usual because Lindsay had her swim meet finals and had to be at the pool by 7:45. However, she didn't realise her clock was an hour fast (how can you not notice that ?) and consequently her alarm went off at 5:00 instead of 6:00. She spends the next two hours stressing over the races. As far as I am concerned she can come in dead last, and I'd still be incredible proud of what she has accomplished, but she doesn't see it that way.
I come down stairs and instead of the clean kitchen that I had vacated the night before; pans, utensils and dishes are strewn from one end of the counter to the other. It turns out that Rob had decided to cook breakfast for the kids (not for his wife you notice, so that is going to cost him dearly come Valentine's Day !). OK, deep breath, I'll deal with the kitchen after I've done lunches, at least the little darlings are fed. Still enough time. So far, so good.
Next thing I know, Lindsay comes running in the house, to tell me that the cat was on the roof. Brilliant! Rob is by now dressed for work and point blank refuses to get the ladder out and rescue my cat, which I think was jolly unreasonable of him. His view is, if the cat got up there, then he can get down the same way. So now I have to add "Get cat off roof" and "Make husband pay dearly" to my list of chores.
Moving right along, I go to grab my coffee, only there isn't one, and the coffee machine is unplugged. "What the hell is going on ?" I snarl "Where's my coffee ?" I admit that I'm not at my best first thing in the morning. "Oh you can't have one" replies my husband. The man must have a flippin' death wish. Actually I was thinking something far worse, but after Sid dropped the "F" bomb the other day, I'm trying to clean up my act. "I found out yesterday the Tassimo has been recalled" He continues. "They have been exploding in people's faces" Now, I don't know if this is some kind of cosmic joke, but I'm not laughing. "Screw that" Says I, and plug it back in. No exploding kitchen appliance is going to keep me from my coffee. My son, ever the drama queen, promptly runs for cover, screaming "She's gonna blow" I thought he was talking about the coffee pot, but it is equally probable he was referring to me. Happily, no explosion, and I got my brew.
By now Rob and Lindsay have left and I am down to just Sid & Grady and they are definitely conspiring against me. Today's fight was about who got to sit on the wooden chair - really ! There is plenty of comfortable seating, but they fight over an old chair I picked up for $20 at an antique barn. When I say fight, I'm not joking. Grady got to it first and then Sid muscled him out the way. Words were exchanged and the name calling began - idiot, meanie-head, and a few more I won't put in print. Sadly, my arsenal of threats had run dry, so I compromised by separating them, Sid got kicked out of the room, at which point she launches into an Oscar worthy performance, "It's not fair, nobody likes me, I hate my life," Yadda Yadda Yadda. That girl is destined for the stage. At least I can say they were on time for school, probably because I couldn't get them out the damn house fast enough.
And the cat ? I'm happy to say he made his own way safely down from the roof. That doesn't mean my husband is off the hook though ......
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