I received a rude awakening not too long ago. Like most women (& probably some men), when you reach a certain age you prefer to forget about the number of years under your belt, and maybe even shave off one or two. Actually that is something I have never done, instead I have always managed to inadvertently add extra to mine. For a whole year I honestly thought I was 45 when I was only 44.
No matter what, you always hope the face looking back at you in the mirror appears younger than the age on your driver's license. When people underestimate your age by 5 or even 10 years, (I wish) it is certainly a feel good moment. I have had people tell me I look younger than I am (I know some of them were just being polite, but surely not all ?) and they are all my new best friends.
And then there are the times when you wish that we didn't have such strident gun laws here in Canada. I was out and about with my friend Helene, we'd had a good day antique shopping and I was quite happy when we had to call in at a well known pharmacy chain on the way home. I'm at the checkout with Helene right behind me when the cashier asks me if I have my Seniors Card. I was convinced there was something wrong with my hearing, but it should have been a dead give away when Helene all but fell on the floor laughing.
Still, giving the girl the benefit of the doubt I said, in what I thought was a reasonable tone, "What did you just say?" And I gave her my special smile (the one that my husband describes as a crack in the gates of hell, where you can smell the sulfur and hear the cries of the damned). Doesn't she just say it again, with a inane little grin "I said, do you have your seniors card ?" OK, she'd had her chance, now the gloves were off. Helene suddenly realises this is no longer a laughing matter and is frantically making signs at the girl to cease and desist, but oh no, the silly bitch obviously didn't appreciate who she was dealing with because she continues in her little sing-song voice "Oh, you know it's not 65 anymore, you're considered a senior at 55 now" Is this idiot for real ? I am still well on this side of 50 thank you very much, and each time she opened her mouth I was one step closer to lunging over the counter and throttling her.
By now Helene has tears running down her cheeks and has given up any hope of trying to salvage the situation. I am apoplectic, but trying to muster as much dignity as possible, I tell the cashier through gritted teeth that "No, I don't have a seniors card, and before you even ask I don't want one either". She is still smiling through all this, obviously not realising how perilously close she is to getting smacked upside the head.
It was bad enough this woman had now ruined my whole weekend, but even worse that it had to be Helene who was with me. I knew I had to go home and tell my husband what had happened, and then have to put up with the snickering and the jokes, because if I didn't, my supposed friend would have snitched on me in a heartbeat, and I know her version of the events would have been far worse than mine.
And no I haven't been back to that particular store, and probably never will.
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