Armageddon

Each day I have to wonder if I will have something to write about in this post, convinced I will run out of topics. Yet each day something good, bad or indifferent happens, and today was no exception.

Grady and I watch a TV show every week called "Brad Meltzer Decoded", where a group of people try to prove or debunk various mysteries, myths and conspiracy theories.  This last week, the episode was on the end of the world, due to happen on December 21st of this year, as prophesied by the ancient Mayans. Of course, this is the one time that the whole family sits down to watch, generating many questions. "Is the world really going to end ?", "What will happen?"  "What about Christmas?", "Can I go to the Lego store before it does?" (that was from Grady) etc etc. Interestingly, Lindsay seems to be the most bothered by it. I tell her that as far as I am concerned if the Mayans couldn't foretell their own demise, I don't have much faith in their predictions as they relate to earth today. It takes a while, but I think I've calmed any fears and we are good. Ha !

Fast forward to the weekend, when we were off to Peterborough to see our very good friends, (just covering my bases for when they read this). While Rob was out grabbing some last minute groceries, the dog starting barking and there is a loud knock at the door. I am in the bathroom getting ready, Grady grabs the dog and Lindsay answers the door. Should have known better, it was two Jehovah Witnesses. Now I must say here, I do have respect for every religion, and an appreciation for any individual's beliefs, however I draw the line with having any of these beliefs thrust upon me in my own home.

So, Lindsay opens the door, and I am listening from upstairs. Two very pleasant ladies greeted Lindsay and introduced themselves, but it was their next sentence that struck fear in to my heart "We are here to talk to you about Armageddon. Do you know what Armageddon is dear ?". Oh f*** why did it have to be Armageddon ? I'm pretty sure they're not talking about the Bruce Willis movie. So there is me up in the bathroom, yelling "No, no, not Armageddon, don't mention Armageddon, anything but that". At this point I regret the fact that I have brought Lindsay up to be respectful, (Sid, my other, somewhat belligerent daughter, is a totally different story), because  she stands there politely listening to what the ladies have to say. Meanwhile Grady is also taking it all in, while he is hanging on to the dog, who would have gladly seen the visitors off the property.

So having to speak up in order to be heard above the rabid Cujo, the ladies continue to explain in no uncertain terms what Armageddon means, and graphically describe how the world is going to end, and what is in store for us all, while Lindsay stands there nodding politely. They must have thought they'd caught a live one, because they go on to explain how she is still young enough that she can be saved. I'm still in the bathroom yelling "Don't listen ! don't listen ! Shut the door, set the dog on them" They ask Lindsay her name, by now I'm getting desperate "Tell them it's Lucy - short for Lucifer".  Fortunately at this point Rob arrives home, there is a quick discourse on the doorstep, and the ladies are on their way, but not before they manage to shove a bunch of literature into Lindsay's hand, about - you've guessed it - Armageddon, and if the previous graphic descriptions weren't enough, this came with pictures ! I swear, on some days it seems like the end of the world is probably the best thing that can happen to me.