The Night Before Christmas - My Version

My truncated version of the Night Before Christmas in our house. 

Twas the days before Christmas, and all through the house,

Every creature was stirring, even the mouse,

The stockings were thrown on the floor with the socks, 

None of them matched, it was a total dead loss

The children refused to go to their beds, 

Even when threatened with a slap up the head, 

Lindsay was whining, and Grady complained,

Sidney was wailing, who was too blame ?

  When down in the basement we heard a great clatter,

I jumped up from my blog, to see what was the matter, 

Down to the basement I ran with a dash,

Tripped on the stair and stepped on a cat.
 

The light from the TV cast a strange glow,

Giving a lustre of blue to objects below,

And in front of my wondering eyes do I see,

Another f***ing cat, half up the tree

With the tree coming dangerously close to the floor, 

I curse and I swear, and then I curse a lot more, 

The ornaments come crashing, those made of glass, 

The cat gets a swift kick up the arse.

I yell for assistance, in hopes to get help,
Damn dog underfoot, ran off with a yelp
My husband arrives, about bloody time, 
Takes one look at the scene and turns on a dime

"Stay there, don't move" he yells loudly at me, 
And leaves me still holding up the damn tree
He returns with his camera and says with a wink,
"Smile for me honey",  he's a total Rat Fink.

The kids are all gathered, how funny this is,
See how they laugh when I cancel Christmas,
Finally the tree is righted and tall,
Secured and tied tightly close to the wall.

Christmas is here, only two days to go, 
The children all wishing & hoping for snow,
Complaints about boredom and having to wait, 
Roll on bedtime, make it early not late.

So here's hoping your holidays are merry & bright
Happy Christmas to all, and to all a good night ! 

I'll be back in the New Year