The Boyfriend

The titular character does not refer to my imaginary boyfriend, aka the hunky UPS man, with whom my children are convinced that I am having a lurid affair - difficult to achieve such a status when my husband works from home nowadays. Instead, the boyfriend in question is Lindsay's. Yep that's right, my little girl has all growed up and got herself a man.

In the interests of preserving their privacy and saving my daughter from embarrassment,  this will be the one and only blog devoted to the subject. Suffice to say he is a very nice boy, well mannered and a gentleman and we wholeheartedly approve. Did I mention he is tall? Much to Rob's chagrin at meeting him for the first time, he had to look up, I'm sure he would have much preferred to frown down upon such an interloper ! 

It would appear that when it comes to parenting a teen with a boyfriend, Rob and I are not on the same page, in fact, probably not even in the same book ! We had an eye opening conversation the other day and it went something like this:

Rob: Maybe I'm out of bounds, but now that Lindsay has a boyfriend, don't you think you should have a chat with her ? 

Me:   (Blank look) Huh ?

Rob: You know, "That Chat!" 

Me:   Oh right. Gotcha. 

Rob: I just think it would be better coming from her mother.

Me:   Well, I really don't think it's necessary, she is pretty sensible and they are nowhere  near that point in their relationship, but if it makes you feel any better I'll talk to her about using condoms. 

At this point, mere words cannot do Rob's reaction justice.  Bug eyed, apoplectic, clutching his chest, choking on his coffee, he sputters out "Are you kidding me ? I don't want you giving her condoms, you're supposed to tell her to abstain. (There were more than a few expletives in there - talk about your potty mouth - but they are best not repeated). He continues, "I DON'T WANT YOU talking to her, EVER I'll handle it myself."

I must admit at that point I fell about laughing, who knew that my husband had long forgotten his own horny teenage days.  Suffice to say when I told Lindsay about the conversation later (there are no secrets in this house), she was mortified. "You're not going to put that in your blog are you ?" she asked. "As if !" I replied...... 

PS: When I read this to Rob - family always has right of veto with my blog - he expressed dismay. "My mother is going to read this" he exclaimed.  Right, like she doesn't remember his horny teenage years either.