I'm Losing It.

Most of the time I am laid back, easy going - although I guess it does depend who you talk to - but I also have one hell of a temper. It rarely shows itself now, for the most part because I don't have the inclination or the energy (mainly the energy) to get too worked up about something. However, it is still there, simmering just below the surface and today my children got it with both barrels.

I don't know why, but they have been abnormally fractious this week, even mutinous, so I am already on a short fuse. This afternoon they hadn't even got in the door before a fight broke out over who brought in the mail and who knocked over a lunchbox of all things. By now I'd had enough, so this time it was my turn to lose it and I pulled an "Exorcist" on them. I had the crazed eyes, the monstrous face, and the demonic voice - especially the voice, the harsh guttural sound that carries. I'm sure the neighbours heard every single word of my frenzied tirade.  I wouldn't have been surprised if I had sprouted horns and sported cloven hooves, I think I may have even managed the 360 degree head spin, all I was missing was the projectile vomit. I was a woman unhinged.

For once my children were absolutely speechless, while I spat out recriminations with the staccato of gunfire. They've seen me mad before, but I don't think ever to that degree. They kept looking accusingly at each other, none of them wanting to accept the responsibility of being the one who had tipped me in to the abyss of hysteria. Out of the corner of my eye I caught Grady mouthing at Lindsay "What the ???" Only to see her mouth back "It's your fault".  Sid being Sid, was more concerned about dinner, and was anxiously casting glances around the kitchen in the hopes of seeing some kind of meal preparation. Usually her first question when she gets home is "What's for dinner?" but she hadn't had an opportunity to ask that yet, and I could see that was weighing heavy on her mind. Too bad! . 

After I had finished my castigation, I sent them off in different directions and they all crept out of the kitchen.  I start hurling pots and pans around, banging them on the counter for effect as I prepare dinner. I resisted the urge to spike the food, but only because Rob may have to take leftovers for his lunch.  I don't think I had ever been in this high dudgeon before. ( I love that phrase and couldn't resist the opportunity to use it, might be my only chance).  On the plus side the kids were tiptoeing around me, and being incredibly civil to each other. It may have been the result of post traumatic shock but I didn't rightly care. If it meant I got a quiet evening, I was all for it

Things were going swimmingly for while, until Sid (the only one brave enough to speak) who was watching TV had the audacity to ask me if I had been on the Titanic. On a day like today, I actually wish I had.

So on that note, have a great weekend everybody, and I'll be back & hopefully calmer, on Monday.