Only Boring Women Have Clean Houses

The title is not an original catchphrase, nor do I claim it to be. However, it is a sentiment that I wholeheartedly embrace. As far as I am concerned cleaning is right up there with root canals and ironing (and I think my views are pretty clear on that topic), on my list of things I don't like to do.

Unfortunately, my husband doesn't share my views, which quite honestly is really too bad for him. When he worked close by, he would often clean up as soon as he walked in the door, but now, when he doesn't get home until much later in the evening, he doesn't have the time or inclination. However that doesn't stop him from making thinly veiled references to the state of the house (utter chaos). Exactly what does he expect ? Three kids, four cats and a dog who regularly traverse the house with less than clean feet, and some of them also shed (not the children I hasten to add).  Our back yard is 1/2 acre of mud in the spring time and grass clippings in the summer - you can hardly expect a pristine floor. Of course that doesn't excuse the smudges on the walls and dust on the coffee table - that is just sheer laziness on my part.

I once had a friend (note the past tense), who positively lived for housework. Her daughter was in school full days, and she spent her time cleaning and cooking. I'm not really sure what she had to clean, because her husband and child were neat freaks themselves, they didn't have any pets, but she kept cleaning anyway. Her husband liked to boast that their floors were always so spotless, you could eat off them. But in reality, who would want to do that ? I can never understand that attitude. I invested in a dining room table and chairs for a reason. Precisely so you don't have to eat off the floor, ergo no pressing need to keep said floor in immaculate condition. I have always wanted to use the word "ergo", and I thought  there was a good a place as any!

Anyway, back to my husband's thinly veiled hints. He may think he is being subtle, but he's not. News flash honey - leaving the vacuum cleaner in the middle of the bedroom doorway where I can't fail to trip over it, is NOT subtle in any sense of the word. To be fair, I have been known to drag the vacuum out of the closet on occasion, or in this case retrieve it from where I kicked it clear across the hall this morning when I didn't look where I was going. I reluctantly dragged it through the house getting it hooked up on furniture in every room, and that was before I even turned it on. So after wasting over an hour of my day - it shouldn't take that long, because we have a small home, but I am easily sidetracked - I can report the house may not be spic-and-span, but it is clean enough, which is as good as you're gonna get.  By the time my kids get home, it won't even be that, so all in all, it was a total exercise in futility.

On the subject of kids, take this morning for example, when Sid has chocolate milk with her breakfast. She sneezed when she was drinking it and snorted chocolate milk all over the kitchen. I'm not sure how she managed that feat, unless she borrowed a move from the movie "The Exorcist" and swiveled her head around 360 degrees.  Of course, she and Grady think it is the funniest thing since the Three Stooges, but it doesn't occur to either of them to clean it up until I come down and start my "I'm your mother, not your maid" rant.  A whole roll of paper towels later - my fault for not supervising the clean up - you'd think she'd have got it all, but no, here it is the afternoon and I am still finding traces of chocolate milk, on the cupboards, counters, wall etc. 

So to sum up, this is not a clean house, and my life is never boring. Frustrating perhaps, and chaotic, definitely deranged, disorganized and tumultuous, but never ever boring!  Have a great weekend, I'll be back on Monday.