A Torrid Affair

Sometimes I think it is best when I have pissed off my kids and they aren't talking to me, because it has to be better than the fresh hell they are putting me through now. I think I mentioned in a previous post, about not dashing to the door to receive a delivery, lest the kids decide you have something going on with the UPS guy. Well I broke my own cardinal rule and now I'm paying for it.

A package was delivered the other day - or at least it would have been had my daughter bothered to stop texting long enough to answer the damn door. Instead I had to trek down to the depot and pick it up, which quite frankly was a pain in the ass, especially seeing as I got lost, which is not without a touch of irony, because the parcel was a GPS unit, which I badly need because my sense of direction is terrible. Rob insists I wouldn't be able to find my way out of a paper bag.

Anyway, I love books, live for books and my one vice would be buying books (and yes I'll get back to the UPS guy in a minute). I tried an E-Reader, but it just didn't do anything for me. It would be great if you were reading those "bodice-ripping/heaving bosom" romance novels, because no one would see the garish cover and your secret would be safe, but my tastes in literature tend to mirror my life, and therefore run more towards murder and mayhem. So quite honestly I feel about my Kobo the same way I feel about decaf coffee or virgin cocktails - really what is the point of them ?  Consequently, when I'm not blogging, or burning dinner, I'm online at Amazon ordering more books.

So, yesterday when I noticed the UPS truck stopped at the end of the driveway I came haring up the stairs and just about knocked the poor guy off his feet when I flung open the front door to get my latest batch of books.  Unfortunately Lindsay was around to witness this, and I compounded my stupidity by saying something like, "All I wanted was the package". You cannot imagine what trouble that one little sentence has caused. It didn't help when another order arrived today (it's free shipping, so what the hell?) and now my little darlings (plural because Grady is in on it too) have become quite the little innuendo squad. I had no bloody idea they could come up with so many jokes about the UPS guy and his "package". Even Rob has joined in the debacle, and threatened to get himself a brown uniform. 

For the record, the UPS guy (and it is the same one each time) really is good looking and very nice, but despite my daughter's theories to the contrary, I have neither the inclination nor the time (and lets be really truthful here - the energy) to carry on a torrid affair. Will this madness never end ? At this rate, I may have to quit Amazon, and actually drag myself to a bookstore instead.

And a piece of advice to my husband & daughter who were convinced I would not write this. Never ever challenge me, you should know by now I always get the last word.