Take seat and get comfortable, this could go on for a while.
What is with the god awful ice-cream flavours they are marketing to kids nowadays? I think "Super Kid" and the equally insidiously named "Cotton Candy" ice-creams must be amongst the most toxic substances known to man - other than my friend Raquel's Coconut & Peanut Butter Meatballs, which is a whole other story, and not mine to tell (Sorry Raq !). I have no idea what my husband was thinking (obviously he wasn't) when he brought home a tub of this crap. I don't know what is in this stuff, I could try reading the ingredients, but I can't pronounce most of them and of those that I can, I have absolutely no idea what they are. I'm guessing at the very least they must be radioactive, based on the way the stuff positively glows in the dark. In case you are wondering what started this rant (honestly some days it doesn't take much to set me off). I was trying to get some stains off the kitchen counter, Mr.Clean Magic Eraser and I are on a first name basis. There were some very persistent marker (or so I thought) stains, so I started in on my kids as to why they had crayoned all over the counter, only to have them tell me it wasn't marker but Cotton Candy Ice-Cream. WTF ? This stuff won't come off. I can't imagine what it does to their insides.
Stupid people - I have always been told I don't suffer fools gladly , and I have no time for stupid people. I have met some village idiots in my time, but I came across the Grand Poo-bah last week. I was stopped at some lights, when a woman turns left into the adjacent lane. The only thing is, she is waving a cigarette around in one hand, a cell phone in the other, so I can only assume she is steering with her knees. On top of that she has a yappy little dog sitting on her lap, hanging halfway out of the drivers side window. As she careens around the corner she misses my front bumper by maybe a few inches, I honestly thought she was going to hit me, and I think by the sudden panicked look on her face she thought so too. I let out a blistering string of curses, telling her exactly what I thought of her as she cruised by, and she had the audacity to ask me what my problem was.
Which brings me to my final pet peeve, at least for today - lazy drivers who refuse to indicate. They may know they are about to slam on the brakes and take a corner on two wheels (although actually that sounds like something my kids would say I do - but at least I indicate) but a little advance warning would be nice people. I admit I am not perfect (although I think some days I come pretty damn close) but at least I like to think I am a courteous driver. My husband is often the worst offender, I have to bite my tongue when he is driving especially in my (now deceased) van, I kept reminding him that the indicators worked, (one of the few things that actually did) and he should try using them. If I didn't think we'd end up in a ditch, I'd lean across him and turn them on my self.
I'm sure if he bothers to read this, I will be in for some blistering comments, but I'll take the chance.
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