Unlucky For Some

So, who needs Friday 13th, I have my own personal hell on Monday 16th - such an unassuming day otherwise, except in our house.

Lindsay decides that she'd like to start the week off right, get up early and make pancakes from scratch. She found a great recipe online. I told you she was better in the kitchen than I was. Never to do anything by halves, she decides to invite her friend Hannah over as well.  I came down stairs after my shower and just about fell over. Every single surface in the kitchen was covered. Bowls, frying pans, more bowls, jugs, plates, even more bowls, and of course batter and gallons of it. "Don't worry about the mess mum" She trills out cheerfully, "I'll clean it up". I'm not sure how that is even humanly possible, seeing as she is due out the door in 30 minutes, and she is still cooking pancakes and mixing batter - in yet another bowl !

I managed to clear a 6 " square of space so that I can prepare lunches, all the time woefully eying up the ever growing pile of dishes, knowing full well that yours truly was going to be cleaning up, and there wasn't a chef alive that could make pancakes good enough to make me not care about the mess. This breakfast had better be sex on a plate.

To be fair the pancakes were very good, but I gently explained to Lindsay that if she ever did this again on a school morning I would disembowel her, or words to that effect.  I pack Lindsay & Hannah into the van and set off to school.  I am just turning on to the main road from our street, when I her this tremendous bang from the engine and lose all power.  Lindsay screams "What was that ?" "A bloody loud bang" I replied helpfully. Do I look like a freaking mechanic ? How the hell do I know what it was. Nothing good that's for sure. At that moment I remember the post I  had scheduled for this morning "Requiem For My Van" what a bloody portent that turned out to be. Although I said it was almost on it's last legs, I'd actually  hoped to get another year or two out of it. Next time I'll blog about winning the lottery, and see what happens.

So here I am with my hazards on, creeping along the road,  hoping to get around the corner just ahead so I could pull out of main traffic. Everyone behind me is honking and carrying on. Idiots. Can they not see that something must be wrong, who in their right mind crawls along the main road at 2 km/hour. If I wasn't so bloody concerned about making to to the corner, I would have been entertaining some very rude hand gestures. Lindsay, bless her, magnanimously offers to miss school and stay with me. I'm not sure what she thought she could do for me, but that girl doesn't miss an opportunity to skip class. Unfortunately she pointed out to me this evening, "Mum you didn't half swear this morning, had you forgotten Hannah was in the back seat?"  Well, actually yes I had, so my abject apologies to Hannah, who got than she bargained for. I hope the pancakes were worth it. 

The good news is that thanks to the generous help of my brother-in-law who ferried me around today, and asked all the right questions, (because let's face it, I'm not known for my mechanical prowess) I now have a new van. Not brand spanking new, but new enough that Lindsay said she won't mind borrowing it when she gets her licence next year. She had already made it very clear she would not be seen dead driving my "Barn Mobile"  The auto wreckers who towed my old van actually gave me $400, of course that barely covered the cost of the full tank of the gas I'd just put in it. My timing sucks.

Never missing an opportunity to rub my nose in it, I received a phone call from my concerned father-in-law this evening. The conversation went something like this.

Me:  Hello
Him: Hi Kel, I thought you'd be home. After all you can't go far without a van. Tee hee.
Me:  Ha Ha  What do you want ?
Him: Just wondering what time you were holding the wake for your van. (more derisive laughter).
Me:  Click. Actually I wouldn't be that rude and hang up on him, I just handed the phone over to Rob, "It's your father" I told him through gritted teeth, and let him break the news to the old man that we'd brought another Chrysler. One day I may even let him ride in it.