Why Do Kids Ask Questions ?

Apart from the obvious, I have to wonder why kids - at least mine - ask questions. I'm not talking about the whammies that come out of left field, you know the kind, the "I-wish-the-ground-would-swallow-me-up" questions, although I have had my share of them. My personal favourite took place in the line up of a grocery store, when hitherto I hadn't given any thought to the fact that my daughter could read, and amused herself looking at the trashy magazine covers. I suppose it was inevitable  when a loud voice demands, "Mum, what's a virgin?", which was followed closely with, "Mum, are you a virgin?" which believe me, at that precise moment in time, I was fervently wishing I was, because then I wouldn't be teaching Sex 101 to my then 8 year old, in the Express Checkout Lane.  Of course the ensuing conversation was conducted in a stage whisper (me) versus top of the voice (her). 

I want to know why they ask questions, for which they already know the answer. For example, when Sid asks me "Shall I colour the rabbit brown or white ?" I choose brown, ( 5 out of 6 of our rabbits are brown, so it seemed like a safe answer) and she promptly retorts in an incredulous tone "Mum, it's the Easter rabbit, why would I colour it brown?"  Then why the hell offer it up as a choice ? Next thing I know she's leaving the room, shaking her head telling her brother "Mum doesn't know anything!", WTF ?  Obviously my diabolical plan to keep all their chocolate by telling Sid that I'd run over the Easter Bunny didn't work. 

Then there are the questions when they don't believe the answer. For example, Grady asks me how to spell a word. I tell him, only to have him ask "Are you sure ?" "Yes, I'm sure" which he follows up with "Well maybe I'll just ask dad". Again WTF ?  Especially as his father can't spell worth a damn and always defers to me. Then Grady again, asks me if I know any Latin phrases. I tell him I do and list off a few. He looks at me strangely and asks "Are you making those up?" "No, I'm not" so then he asks, "How do you know Latin ?" Well it's not like I was around in Roman times, so I explain that my father taught me some. "I don't believe you" he says.  So back to my original question; if you're not going to believe anything I tell you, why bother asking me in the first place ?

Take his French homework tonight, it's a well documented fact in our house that I failed "O" Level French with a U (meaning Ungraded - less than 15%). Not one of the highlights of my life, but there it is.  However since then, living in a supposedly bilingual country, I have picked up enough of a second language to get by. At least enough to help the kids with their French homework. So tonight Grady is asking for my aid with translations, which not only am I able to provide but spell them correctly too. However after each answer, I hear him mutter under his breath to his sister, "Bet it's wrong, she failed French" or more loudly, "Are you sure, you did get a "U" you know".  Ingrate petit bâtard !!  After 10 minutes of this, I have had enough. I smacked him upside the head with the oversize French-English dictionary and told him to do his own damn homework.  

We are off to my sister's house tomorrow for Easter dinner and the egg hunt for the kids. For once, I'm hoping the weather is on the cool side. Unlike the year that Good Friday was actually sunny and warm,  and most of the chocolate eggs were melted before the kids found them. Fun times !!  Happy Easter everyone, and I'll be back on Monday - hopefully with an overflowing chocolate drawer.