Sex 101

I did suggest on Friday, that my husband should maybe write the blog for Monday. Instead I will write it about him. So, Saturday afternoon, Lindsay was hosting a surprise birthday party for her friend - seven teens in attendance. Grady & Sid both have friends over, and I am not home. Therefore my long suffering husband gets all the kids to himself.  At this point, Rob is insistent that I make it clear there were twelve in all. Whatever !!

In an understandable effort to escape the loud raucous house filled with teenage girls, and oh my god they were loud -  the boys meanwhile were being loud & raucous outside, so technically the neighbour's problem -  he took Sid and her friend to the stables. Unfortunately he didn't realize that there were two recent additions - stallions no less. I'm not sure how to put this delicately but the horses were well endowed (the expression "hung like a horse" comes to mind) and of course don't the kids spot this immediately.

As well as the girls, another little boy  (not with us) was also visiting, and the three of them stood lined up along the fence, open mouthed, in perfect awe of the display in the paddock. As soon as the boy exclaimed "Oh my god, what is that?" Rob knew exactly what was coming next. Meanwhile Sid's friend has never seen anything like it (I'm sure that is probably true for a lot of people) and she in turn asked if the appendage was an extra leg, which according to the little boy also had a foot on the end. Trust our daughter to know exactly what was going on, and she announced knowingly "Oh for goodness sakes, it's his wiener".  Not exactly technical, but close enough.

It would appear that with several mares in close proximity, the horses were, well, excitable, so I think the kids got more of an eyeful than Rob had bargained for. He is not comfortable discussing this topic at the best of times (his "talk" with Grady, has already been documented), so he was very quick to shut down any questions, and hustled the kids off to play with the kittens instead. At least that is something he can't blame on me.

Meanwhile, on a similar subject, Grady has  "That Talk" at school this week, I can't wait for the fall-out from that one.  It's bad enough that he has been going around the house today, singing a particularly vulgar but catchy little ditty taught to him by his father, and then Rob actually has the audacity to lecture me when I swear ! .

.