I Haven't Lost My Touch

I am convinced that my youngest child spends every waking moment plotting ways in which she can do harm either  physical or psychological - she's not fussy - to her brother.  Take yesterday for example, our house is not big and we only have two bathrooms, one on the upper level and one in the basement.  Sidney recently discovered that the small  windows in the basement bathroom are actually at ground level when you are outside. This was an opportunity to good to pass up and she waited patiently until her brother was in the bathroom cogitating in his own little world, and then she hollered at him through the open window. Poor Grady, he thought he was safe because the door was locked.  He didn't anticipate an attack from the rear. He may never go to the bathroom again. Meanwhile Sid is rolling on the floor laughing, a totally evil and maniacal sound at having bested her brother.

Today was the belt ceremony at their karate class. Grady took karate through the school a couple of years ago, but that was it for him. Sidney took it the following year. This year when it was offered, I asked Grady if he was interested and he said no. Sid on the other hand wanted to sign up again. A day or so later Grady came back to me and asked if it was too late to join up, when I asked him what had caused him to change his mind he just looked at me incredulously and said "There's no way I can let Sid get ahead of me".  I can't say I blame him. So fast forward a few months to today's ceremony. In I go with camera in hand, to watch my budding Bruce Lees. Grady seemed to be having fun, but Sid was taking it very seriously - maybe a little too seriously for my liking. That girl can pack a wallop. I was hoping that karate would help her with discipline, instead of which she seems to have honed her fighting skills. Afterwards the Sensei came up to me and told me what a pleasure it was to have my children in her class. My children ? Together ? Really ? That doesn't sound right at all. I think the poor woman may have suffered one too many roundhouse kicks to the head.

But it was Lindsay who offered the biggest chuckle today. She decides she is going outside to tan (didn't have the heart to tell her that after 4:00 PM she won't be catching too many rays) and sets up her deckchair. The next thing I see when I look out the window are arms and legs flailing in the air and the rest of Lindsay swallowed by the chair. I'm not sure how she did it, but when she sat down the whole thing collapsed. It was fine yesterday, I suspect sabotage, I just can't prove it. Either way, we are now down one deck chair, because that one is way beyond repair.

The little darlings were on full form at dinner tonight and started getting out of hand, so I began calling out my arsenal of threats from the other room. Nothing seemed to have much effect until I got to "Do you want to spend the rest of the evening sitting on the stairs?" That seemed to have the desired effect especially when you consider the subsequent conversation - carried out in hushed tones across the kitchen table. . "She'll do that you know" threatened Lindsay. "I know" sighed Sid "Do you remember that time she forgot about us ?"  "Too right" chimes in Grady "We were stuck there for hours". The rest of their dinner was spent reminiscing fondly (?) about past punishments. I love the fact that I haven't lost my touch !