Sleep With One Eye Open

I'm on my way through the Tim's Drive-Thru (again !!) with Lindsay and her friends Hannah and Mary-Clare, when my phone goes off, signalling I have a text. I toss the phone to Lindsay and ask her to check it,  whereupon she replies, "I don't think I want to know what it says" (referring to the unfortunate incident in my post on February 16th). Hannah and Mary-Clare both burst out laughing and chime in unison "I read that blog". I didn't think it was possible for Lindsay to look so mortified, and I didn't have to glance at her to sense the daggers aimed in my direction.  I think I may have to start using a little more discretion with my blog because it's too late now to use pseudonyms, everyone who reads this knows who I'm talking about by now.

I think the poor guy at the Tim's order window is still spinning from our visit, between ordering for the three girls in the car plus for the kids I hadn't yet collected from school, he didn't know which end was up.  It doesn't help that the girls are all singing along - loudly - to the radio. By the time I got up to the window he practically threw my order at me, in his haste for me to be gone.

I spoke too soon about my well behaved children, they are definitely a thing of the past. When I arrive home and  Grady meets me at the front door with a pair of nun-chucks (albeit plastic ones), I know it's not good sign.  When the youngest two push each other out of the van and start wrestling in the driveway, again not a good sign. When I have to follow them up the path yelling "Separate Now" with the emphasis on "Now", followed by "... you little f***ckers" under my breath, it does not bode well for the evening ahead.

It would appear that Sid & Grady have made it their mission to be beaten to a pulp by Lindsay tonight. I can't think of any other reason why they would be running around deliberately trying to provoke her while she is trying to have "girl time" with her friends. I have tried to intervene, but even my threat of punishment horribilis cannot override their self destructive urge. Rob has just texted to say he doesn't know when he'll be home, and I'm definitely not prepared  to deal with the demented little termagants by myself, so I'm throwing in the towel and going to hide out somewhere with my latest book.

Unfortunately, I can still hear screaming from the front lawn (I bet the neighbours are just loving my family tonight), but it is the scream that abruptly ends in a yelp that worries me more. No one has come bursting through the door spurting arterial blood or courting a broken bone (the only two conditions that will cause me to put aside my book), so they must be practicing frontier justice at it's finest.  Our neighbour is a firefighter, so I figure all my bases are covered.

I have promised the kids a trip to the stables when Rob gets home - I don't care how late it is.  He thinks he has bested me, and that he can avoid this misery and mayhem by staying late at work, but I'm not going down without a fight. I think taking his obnoxious offspring plus Mary-Clare & Hannah (who are lovely girls, but I don't understand what draws them to our house) to the farm, is a fitting end to his day. 

My friend Raquel read a article today that suggests stay at home mums are more depressed than mothers who work outside the home. Who the hell has the time to be depressed ?  Just the hours I spend scheming, fills a good portion of my day. I maintain, never go to bed angry, stay up and plot your revenge instead. On that note, I hope everyone has a lovely weekend, and if necessary sleep with one eye open. I'll be back on Monday.