My youngest still believes in Santa. Touching, except that it makes the shopping and hiding of gifts so much more difficult. All stocking stuffers for any of the kids have to be stashed at the back of drawers and the tops of closets, to ensure Sid sees none of it, lest she become a non believer.
Now we come to her Christmas list for Santa. The perennial favourite a puppy. You would think after 4 or 5 years of a puppy-less Christmas she would take a hint, but no, Sid is nothing if not tenacious. I suppose 4 cats, 3 guinea pigs, 2 frogs, 4 remaining rabbits, a horse, a dog, myriad fish and a jird in the freezer are not enough for her. Do you have any idea how many of those fucking family stick figures I have on my van ? Enough to obscure the back window, that's how many. I have been known to stop traffic as drivers pause to count the menagerie emblazoned on my vehicle. I digress, no puppy for Sid.
Number two on the list - Lego. Now that at least is something I can manage. Although again, why the thousands of hard pointy little bricks she and her brother already possess are not enough is beyond me. Even one pointy little object is too many when I tread unsuspecting upon it with my bare foot. As the excruciating pain shoots through my nervous system and I let loose a spectacular string of curses, my offspring laugh uncontrollably. It would appear that mummy hopping on one foot and cursing a blue streak never gets old.
Item number three on the list caught my attention. She has requested "Something to make money". Not sure how that would work exactly, but I'm guessing a printing press is probably out of the question. Maybe Santa could suggest she get a job, but I don't think there is much call for 9 year old Sumo wrestlers.
Next, she has requested "Bongos". Really ? What possess this girl ? Our house isn't noisy enough, and having Sid bashing away on Bongos isn't going to slash through my last thread of sanity and send me falling into the abyss ? I sense Grady's influence here. Either way, no Bongos for Sid.
We have a few gimmes on the list, books, stuffed animals, DVDs - all within acceptable limits, but then we come to the last item. Sid has requested that Santa bring her "A Rock Star for a friend". Why not just ask for World Peace ? But a Rock Star ? Really ? How am I supposed to accomplish that ? I tell you that puppy idea is all of a sudden looking a lot more appealing.
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