Eeew

So, my niece Brittany tells me that our latest addition, "The Jird", should have protein included in her diet each week, and suggested among other things meal-worms, which is where the "Eeew" factor comes in. Off I trot to see Al at "Mr Pet" who is usually my go-to guy for anything animal related. I walk in today and proudly proclaim that I have a Jird, and he looks at me as if I had just announced that I had a sexually transmitted disease.  "A what ?" he asks. "A jird" I reply, now a little less sure of myself. He looks at his assistant, (who between you and me looked a bit simpleminded, and probably couldn't tell a cat from a dog on a good day) and asks her if she knows what it is. Of course she gives him blank look.  He turns back to me "I've never heard of it. Do you mean an African-something-desert-something-fluffy-tailed-Kangeroo-Rat ?". Actually, nooo, I'm pretty sure I mean a jird. I'm really hoping I don't have an African whatever Kangeroo Rat.  Now I have his attention and he starts rattling off questions, What does it look like ?  Does it bite ? Can you handle it ?  I don't know, I haven't been able to catch the little bastard yet, it takes off every time I stick my hand in the cage.  Only  Grady has managed to catch it and put it in his hamster ball, which was actually hilarious, like a scene straight out of a cartoon.

Anyway back to Mr Pet and the meal worms. I was expecting him to be able to answer my questions, instead of which, now I'm not even sure I know what I have. How many meals worms should I get ? He suggests two or three but gives me half a dozen. What do I do with the extras ?  This is all new to me.  He tells me to keep the spare ones in a jar with bran cereal, and some cantaloup. Are you kidding me ?  These are supposed to be food, not another freaking pet. I'm not keeping anything in a jar. So off I go with $1.12 worth of meal-worms in a bag. They were really gross, and gave me the willies. I have no problems with mice, bats or even bees, but something that wiggles or slithers, keep it the hell away from me. I tried to pass the bag to Lindsay but she screamed and ran, I went to hand it to Grady and he did the same thing. How did I manage to raise such a bunch of wussies ?  I guess yours truly gets to feed the f***ing meal-worms to the jird.

I decided to take the easy way out, opened the bag at arms length and shook the meal-worms into the food bowl. That wasn't so bad, until Lindsay pointed out the obvious "The jird's asleep. What if the meal-worms crawl out of the cage before she eats them?". Oh, crap, crap, crap I didn't even think of that one. There was no way in hell I was sticking my hand back in that cage. I can only hope they were concussed when I shook them out the bag.  When will I ever learn ?