"I have three pot bellied pigs in the house right now, I rescued them. One has a skin problem and needs cream on it every day, another has to be hand fed as he is such a pig he chokes. I have two dogs, one was a puppy mill for ten years so she has anxiety issues, the other hates animals and people. Also seven cats, three who are so fat they don't do anything. One is a sphinx, he has no hair so he has to have a heated bed. He hates me because I have cold hands and another cat, who when he was a kitten ate his brother. His name is Dave but we call him Dahmer"
No I have not lost my mind, this was one of the many texts I have received from an animal loving friend of mine who shall rename nameless. She has graciously allowed me to relate her tales in my blog - but only if she remained anonymous. I am pretty sure mutual friends will guess her identity, but I have done my part.
She also has a horse, who had a difficult birth and his brain was deprived of oxygen. He is a very sweet tempered horse, but unfortunately has a tendency to get lost between the paddocks and the barn, and can often been seen wandering around in circles.
This was another text that arrived sometime during the night ..." One my way to emergency vet. Cat thought he could fly. Jumped off the stair bannister, taking a shelf with him which whacked out his front teeth and split open his nose". I'm happy to report, the cat is now doing fine. As long as he doesn't smile, you'd never know there was anything wrong.
Finally, my personal favourite "I think I may actually be going insane. Last night at 3:00 A.M. I got up and was looking for my long haired orange cat, because he had escaped from my room. I looked everywhere, but couldn't find him so went back to bed. This morning my mum asked "What the hell were you doing upstairs at 3:00 A.M.?" (I have a basement apartment) so I went to explain, and then I realised I don't have a long haired orange cat ....".
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