Texting Tales

I got a bit of a shock the other day. I was looking through the invoice for our cell phones,  checking our usage for the month. I had 68 texts which I thought was high, while Rob's numbered 418, which which I considered a bit excessive, but nothing had prepared me for Lindsay's usage; 9,817 texts. Yes, I did a double take too. Who on earth can send 9,817 texts inside of a month ?  Apparently my daughter can. This is the same girl with whom holding a conversation is akin to pulling teeth. For example, a typical exchange goes something like this.

Me:  "How was school today ?"
Her: "Fine" 
Me:  "How did you do in your test?"
Her:  "OK"

Me:   "What did you have for lunch?"
Her:  "Usual."
Me:   "What sort of homework do you have to do tonight ?"
Her:  "Lots"
Me:   "Do you have any plans for the weekend ?"
Her:   "Yep."

So I have learned absolutely nothing from this scintillating conversation, but somehow she has enough news to impart that requires the execution of 9,817 (all outgoing) texts.  Did I miss that chapter in the parenting handbook ?