Prior to the start of school, we had a wonderful weekend with friends at their cottage. I spent two days sitting on the dock with Lisa, admiring a beautiful lakeside view. Together we solved all the world's troubles, whilst I drank myself into happy oblivion, it doesn't take much, two coolers and I'm done. Meanwhile Scott and Rob took all the kids extreme-tubing. Extreme-tubing is much like regular tubing, except you try to drown the kids. As the boat corkscrews around the lake, riding over its own turbulent wake, the tube goes airborne, and the kids fly off one by one. If I had been sober witnessing this, I would have probably been concerned, but being happily inebriated as I was, really who cares ? With three children, it's not like I don't have a spare. The tube is really a misnomer, as it was actually shaped like a large couch, and as Lisa pointed out, as the heads bounced up and down above the back of the seat, it looked like a giant game of Whack-A-Mole. You would think that a few minutes of the white knuckle, bone jarring, head bashing fun would be enough, but no they were at it for hours. Personally, I wouldn't have lasted two minutes.
Rob decided it would be fun to try water-skiing again, something he hasn't done in over 30 years. I tried to warn him that it was a younger man's sport, but in the end the reality was his life insurance was up to date and the mortgage gets paid off if anything happens to him, so why not ? Go for it. After he went through all the hand signals with Hannah & Lindsay who were spotting & photographing, (Lisa and I electing to stay on dry land), it did occur to me that my husband's life was essentially in the hands of two teenagers. At that point I suggested that he introduce a new signal, beat his fists on his chest for "I need a defibrillator NOW". Fortunately that wasn't necessary. However, today he is regretting his rash decision, as he hobbles around with every muscle and joint aching. I really did start out being sympathetic towards his plight, but quite honestly it was just too much work.
We had taken the dog with us and he had a fine old time, right up until he fell off the end of the dock. After that, he was a lot more cautious. Unfortunately he is terrible on car rides, so normally I avoid it at all costs, but I relented for this weekend. He gets incredibly excited at the prospect of going in my van and we spent the 2 1/2 hour return journey with Badger yipping and whining the whole way. At one point Rob, with his sanity hanging on by a thread, grabbed the nearest thing he could - a Kleenex box - and started wailing away behind him, yelling "Shut Up" - eyes still on the road. He realised he'd completely missed the dog, when an angry Sid pipes up "OW! What was that for?". If the dog wasn't enough of an irritant, Grady & Sid had learned a jaunty little ditty taken from a sign in the cottage bathroom. Trust me after only ten minutes of listening to them sing "In the land of fun & sun, we don't flush for #1", over and over, I was more than ready to flush them. Good times.
So this goes out to Lisa, Scott & Hannah, with hearty thanks for a wonderful weekend.
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