The Cardinal Rule

I have known my husband since I was fourteen, (and by known I don't mean in the biblical sense) so you would think by now he would have a pretty good understanding of what will piss me of, or maybe he does and just doesn't care about the consequences. Damn the torpedoes, full steam ahead and all that.

Cardinal Rule in my house, if I don't have to be up for anything, Do Not Wake Me. There are three exceptions to this rule, well actually only two now, I removed the life or death scenario, it was to open to interpretation. "House On Fire" is one exception, and the second is the unexpected appearance at the front door of a particular celebrity I yearn after, and realistically, I know that ain't gonna happen.

Last week I had to be up at some ungodly hour each day, in order to feed my children before swimming lessons. Apparently mothers are expected to do that. This week was also fairly busy, with various offspring needing to be ferried to different activities. However on Thursday I had a reprieve and was able to indulge and sleep in. So you can imagine my annoyance when my slumber is disturbed by a ringing telephone. Fortunately my son, who to his credit, obviously has more sense than his father, hurtled across the room and threw himself on the phone after only one ring. It was probably more of act of self preservation, they all know that I can have a slight tendency be a little uncharitable if woken too soon. Oh hell, lets not sugar coat it, I am a total bitch if I don't get enough sleep.

Despite Grady's noble efforts, the one ring of the phone was all it took, and when I make it downstairs a few minutes later, I inquire about the phone call. "Oh that was dad" he replied "He sent you an urgent email, and needs you to look at it and get back to him right away."  Fearing the worst, I log on  and check my email account. Sure enough there is a brief message from my husband, short and to the point. "Can you check the pocket of the pants I was wearing yesterday, and see if I brought home the (office) bathroom key?"  Are you kidding me ? He had the audacity to wake me up for that ?  First of all I really don't give a rats ass if he is locked out of the bathroom, and secondly, best case scenario it is a 2 1/2 hour round trip to Rob's office, so even if the said key was in his pocket (which it wasn't), I sure as hell wasn't taking it anywhere.

Considering the circumstances, I think I handled the intrusion in an admirable manner. I didn't even refer to my husband as a RB (which for my sister Jackie's benefit now stands for "Ravishing Bloke", feeble, I know, but sadly it was the best I could come up with on the fly), but everyone else knows the real meaning. Meanwhile kudos to my son, at least he knew that an urgent email from his father was not a reason enough to wake me !