I think we've established Rob is working from home this week - so not only do I have to fight for computer time to blog, but I also don't get the chance to sleep in. Today was no different. He comes bouncing in to the bedroom this morning at some ungodly hour, announcing "I have to put the light on, I've got something to show you". He has the kids in tow, so it obviously wasn't the first thing that crossed my mind. Oh no it was much worse than that. I open my eyes, and there he is, holding a vase of something a few inches from my face, and it wasn't flowers. There is something in the vase, and I think it's squirming, that can't be right. I'm squinting, my eyes adjusting to the light, trying to figure it out. Whatever it is, it can't be good.
Finally, I give up guessing and ask. "What the hell is it ?" You really don't want to wake me from my slumber for this. So, this person, formerly known as my husband, gleefully replies "It's five mice !" You have got to be f***ing kidding me. Please excuse the language, but I think you'll agree these are extenuating circumstances. The man wakes me up at 7:30 to shove a jar of squirming mice in my face. Does he have a death wish ? Who in their right minds pulls a stunt like this ? I just cannot get over the fact that he has carried multiple mice through the house, up the stairs and into MY BEDROOM. Anyone who follows this blog, knows that I am not daunted by a mouse or two, after all it is usually left up to yours truly to catch them, but this is taking it a bit far.
It turns out that when he went to feed the dog, Sid must have forgotten to close the lid for the dog food bin (yet again), so it was open season. Rob said that when he pulled out the scoop, the five mice were rooted in shock. He at least had the wherewithal to plonk them into a handy vase, but that must have been when he lost the plot. Most normal people would have taken the quickest route to the garden and set the mice free, but no, this imbecile takes them on a grand tour of the house, and introduces them to his wife.
When I stumbled, still bleary eyed in to the kitchen a few minutes later, Rob looked at me in surprise. "Oh, you're up" Nothing like stating the obvious. I'm really not sure how he thought that waking me up with a jar of mice in my face was conducive to me going back to sleep.
Just for the record, when I read this back to my (soon to be former) husband - after all, if I am to publicly call him an imbecile on the world wide web, I'd like him to know about it first - he had only one comment. "I can't believe you're whining about not getting to sleep in." Did he totally miss the part about the mice ??? In my face ??? Unbelievable.
I hope everyone has a wonderful weekend. Monday is a holiday here in Ontario, and the youngest two kids are at my sainted sister's house for the duration. Barring any outstanding arrest warrants for justifiable homicide, I'll be back on Tuesday.
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