Two Weeks & Counting

I realised today that the countdown is on, fifteen days until the last day of school followed closely two days later by my nervous breakdown. My children have ten weeks at home this summer. Factor in two weeks of camp for Grady & Sidney and that still leaves them sixty days in which to perfect their diabolical plot to see me in a straight-jacket by Labour Day. 

Every year it is the same thing, I plaster a fake smile to my face in the vain hopes that I can convince myself to stay happy and calm in the face of adversity, and like the diet I am always planning to start, it never happens. I tell myself they are only children, not evil masterminds of unspeakable terror, but they don't seem to know that.

I have heard the stories from my in-laws about the trouble my husband and his elder brother got in to as children, the neighbour's lawn furniture thrown down a well, cucumbers shoved up tail pipes; in fact they were little hooligans, and I'm actually amazed their mother didn't drown them when she had the chance. She is made of stronger mettle  than I. Surprisingly it doesn't make me feel any better about the antics of my own offspring.  If anything, it strikes fear into my heart. Sidney & Grady have heard these stories as well, so it just gives them a goal, a benchmark by which they can judge their own level of evil genius.

Lest you think my summer months will be all gloom & doom, there are some advantages to having them home, as in not having to fight to get them to school. Take this morning for example, both Sidney and Grady are supposed to wear gym uniforms today, but Sid had some long convoluted story about choir and the gym, and to be quite honest I stopped listening after about 20 seconds into the tale. Long & short she refused to wear her gym uniform, until that is, we pull into the school parking lot and she realises she is the only one that isn't.  I refrained from telling her I told you so, well actually I didn't, but it back fired, because her eyes tear up, her lower lip trembles and I end up driving her back home to change. Some days I just can't win.